Adolf Hitler 

Let’s face it, he’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but Adolf Hitler was still the face of German and Austrian vegetarianism for much of the twentieth century and for this alone his legacy needs to be examined. In all honesty, we here at ITF are very busy running our string of specialised braised appendix restaurants for the Freemason community so we haven’t really had much time to invest in research on the rumoured colourful background of Reich Chancellor Hitler but we do know he was somewhat involved in politics at a local level and was very hands on in his desire to get the word out about a meat free diet. We’ve also heard rumours that he was an avid animal lover with a great admiration of the Dobermann, Schnauzer, Fleischripper, Skullenchomper, Tendonblitzkrieger and Colonschredder breeds and of Teutonic lapdogs in general. There are also reports that he was a dedicated water-colourist so enamoured with the activity that he wrote a manual on the different techniques and materials available to the serious Sunday painter entitled My Struggle. This book was so popular and sold so well in Germany that it has been out of stock for the last seventy years and to this day water-colourists and amateur artists in Germany are known as Waffen Schutzstaffel or The SS for short.

But of course what he is most remembered for is a series of riveting and extremely scrumptious Quinoa based recipes that he self-published between 1939 and 1945. In fact his name is so identified with herbivorousness that whenever we meet a vegetarian we immediately think of Adolf Hitler and everything he stood for. This even applies to celebrities who are non meat eating such as pop balladeer Morrissey and rockin’ grandad Paul McCartney.  It’s also commonly surmised that, although McCartney’s songwriting partner John Lennon never actually embraced vegetarianism, he was so impressed with Adolf Hitler’s character and views that he married the closest thing he could find in female form, Yoko Ono.

So remember, next time you meet a vegetarian be sure to tell them how much similarity you see between them and their trailblazing hero Adolf Hitler and how they are the living embodiment of everything he stood for.  If their blood sugar is up, they are conscious and they are able to summon the requisite energy, they will thank you profusely. We can guarantee it.

 

 

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